Sunday, April 20, 2014

No-Nonsense Chayaisms...Humour...Identity...Jealousy

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. How true!  You can get out of many tricky situations by having a sense of humour to see the lighter or more positive side of it. The trouble is we let our ego take ourselves very serious and we get touchy about so called  insults and hurts. We need to loosen up a bit and realize that the world does not have such a great opinion about us as we have of our self. In olden days Kings had court Jesters who made sycophant noblemen squirm in their seats and brought a smile to the lips of a bored Emperor.  Tenali Rama Krishna and Birbal ,stand out in history for their sage advice in a lighter vein. Charlie Chaplin with his innocent pranks kept the world laughing and in a circus, the clowns are the biggest attraction with their bulbous nose and funny antics. A sense of humour is the greatest asset in relationships, especially marriage. A couple that can laugh together, will always stay together. And how can one forget the morning smile lit by R K Laxman’s Common Man!!

Identity gives us an idea of who we are…how we relate to others and to the world in which we live. Women, over the years ,have got theirs as someone’s daughter…sister…wife…mother. But now, this is changing with their finding their own place in the sun and prefer to be associated with their own achievements. Some women still go through an identity crisis as they have not explored their own potential or are too timid to do that .They are also hesitant to step out of their comfort zone to chart their own course. It is easier to be associated with someone who is a prop to one’s social status than stand alone. It takes less effort to be piggy back riding than carving a niche for oneself. True identity springs from ones self esteem that stems from being comfortable in ones shoes and not trying to keep up with anyone.

The green eyed monster nestles silently in everyone. It is human to get a little uncomfortable to see someone doing better than oneself for possessing things that we don’t have or cannot afford. But the easiest way to overcome this natural tendency is to take stock of ones plus and minus points and deal with them objectively. Jealousy is a result of an inadequacy we are ashamed of. The best thing to do is deal with it pragmatically and rise above the petty feeling. Jealousy in an insult to oneself as it shows insecurity and clouds ones judgment. It destroys friendships and relationships.