Monday, April 7, 2014

No-Nonsense Chayaisms- Dating...Death...Depression

1                Dating:

A popular way of finding a life partner in the west, dating – is not very welcome in Indian society, even there! Indian parents in US safeguard their children from dating by keeping them busy attending Dance/Music/Karate classes. Gone about the right way, dating can be a good way of helping boys and girls understand the dynamics of man/woman relationships.

There are different categories of dating –
§  Fun – to just go in a group to a Disco and dance or to a picnic.
§  Cheap – to have physical thrill
§  Serious – to check out if suited to be life partners
§  Blind – to have an adventurous evening with a strange

The safest is the first kind and getting popular in India too, at least in big cities. If it extends to the other kinds, it can be dangerous unless the two involved are mature and know their limits. For those progressive enough to go on a date, here are some tips:

§  Make sure you know the boy/girl well
§  Keep parents informed of where you are going
§  Never have alcohol or drugs on a date
§  Avoid going to lonely places
§  Stick to restaurants/theatres/clubs
§  Remember-dating is to have wholesome fun

2                 Death:

‘If death is the end of life, Why should life all labour be? – questions a poet. But then, one cannot just let life go by because one has to die someday! Between life and death, there is a time given to us and it is up to each individual to make good or bad use of it. There are many aspects to death and one can write a whole treatise on it. I will deal with only one-why is there so much tamasha made to see off the departed soul? The ceremonies that follow are elaborate and ritualistic, none of it making any sense to those who have to perform them. All this takes so much time and effort that the bereaved have no space to even mourn in private. It is more important to have a loving and warm relationship during ones lifetime than inviting all and sundry to partake a lavish meal, supposedly to appease the wandering soul to rest. The best way to commemorate the dead is to donate their eyes, and other organs that will help medical studies, institute a scholarship or award and feed the poor and needy.

Unless it is due to a chemical imbalance, depression can be overcome by having the right attitude to whatever causes that. The best antidote to depression is activity. A new review of psychological research shows that exercise is an effective but underused treatment for mild to moderate depression. When you know more about what is wrong-you can make it right. Every happening has a cause and so too depression. It could be loss of job, loss of a loved one, loss of money in business... different people feel depressed for different reasons. Just as you can dwell on the negatives and feel depressed, you can switch your thoughts to the positive and feel happy. It is a matter of perspective. I will illustrate this with my experience and rest my case. As a senior executive in a Public Sector Undertaking, I was dismissed from my job on a false and frivolous charges. It happened at the peak of my career and dealt a tremendous blow to my image in society. I had two choices-to feel depressed and lick my wounds or bounce back and find something to put my energy into. I did the latter. I founded Guild of Women Achievers- a voluntary organization to form a support group for women who go through similar traumas in life and help them cope with it. I turned a negative situation into a constructive one and today, am able to reach out to women to spread the message – you can decide to be happy or depressed. Make your choice. Next time you feel depressed, go to a voluntary organization and volunteer your service. Doing a good deed is one way of overcoming depression. The best way is to laugh… read a joke book everyday and keep that funny bone alive!