Wednesday, May 21, 2014

No-Nonsense Chayaisms from the 80s… My cosmonaut grand daughter


 
My cosmonaut grand daughter
I had a strange dream last night – my granddaughter and her husband came to wish me goodbye. With tears in my eyes, I blessed them and wished them a safe journey.
My grandson-in-law was posted to Astro City and they would be living in a space craft. I was very concerned about their welfare and curious about what their life would be like. Grandson-in-law assured me that he was being given a very comfortable furnished spacecraft with two rooms, a bath and kitchen.
“What about cooking vessels etc?” I asked, Granddaughter said that she would not need them as they would be eating only readymade frozen chappaties, dhal, rice, vegetables etc.
“But”, I gasped, “How can you eat then day in and day out? Won’t you feel like eating fresh vegetables?”
“But granny” she explained patiently, “how do you think we’ll get fresh vegetables? There’s no place to grow them. Moreover, cooking vessels etc will start floating in the air because of weightlessness. Of course, we have an oven in which we’ll warm up the food before eating.”
“But my child,” I protested. “What will you do the whole day with no cooking or cleaning?” “I’ll read books grandma. I will also create an atmosphere of love and affection for my husband and then he’ll be able to concentrate better on his experiments.”
“Will you have friend’s child?” I asked, feeling sorry for the fun loving child who was fond of parties and spoke for hours to her friends on the phone.
“Don’t worry gran. There will be other wives in the other space crafts. We’ll have kitty parties and gossip sessions. I’ll knit shawls for your and if there’s nothing else to do, count stars.” “But my dear,” I persisted, “What about your education your father has spent on? Your dancing, music and painting”. “Oh grandma, what’s all that compared to the prospects of orbiting in space? Next time you meet your cronies in the temple, think how popular you’ll be while other grandmas brag about US or UK, you can talk of “Astro City.”You know, I can talk to you from there! Who knows, we might bump into Indra or Vishnu, who are said to be living somewhere up there!”
R-r-r-ing.. went the doorbell and I got up to let the maid in. “Memsahib,” she said “do you know – all the taxi drivers and bus drivers have gone on a strike today! How will you go to work?”
“At this rate,” I mumbled to myself, how can my granddaughter ever hope to go to space!