A compliment should be sincere, spontaneous, meant well and bring joy to the receiver,. Saying something nice can turn into; praise, a compliment or flattery, depending upon your motive and tone, Have you secretly admired the lovely flower bed of your neighbour, her children’s well-pressed clothes? Why not tell her so? But not with the intention of borrowing a bowl of sugar thereafter! If your child has been particularly well behaved, tell him. But not tauntingly like “Well, well, how come our son is such a good boy today!”
Avoid tongue-in-cheek compliments like “For once you have done your hair well” or “It’s good to see you so cheerful for a change”.
Giving a gift is an art too,” Here take this dress. It doesn’t look good on me. “ Why not “Take this dress, if will look real good on you: “I bought you this bag as yours was in terrible shape” Try, ‘I hope you like this bag I picked up for you”. “This vase is very expensive. I bought it specially for you. Keep it carefully”. Let the receiver decide for herself whether it is worth “keeping carefully”! Do not mention the cost of the gift. The motto of giving anything should be that its “excellence lies in its appropriateness rather than its value”. A compliment/gift should be appropriate to the occasion and person. Like, there is no point in giving delicate bone china crockery to someone who does not have a life style suited to it. Give and accept a compliment/gift with grace.
The ability to take things in one’s stride is a good trait. Do you get agitated or flustered or loose your cool? If you do, it’s time you started schooling your emotions!. You have invited friends, to your house for dinner. You have put out your best crockery. There is a crash as your housemaid carrying a dish to the dining table, drops it. There is a hush as everyone stares at the mess and the maid is petrified. What will you do? “Well, that’s so many calories less for you!” you say. You could send for an extra dish, but you need not continue to apologise and harp on the incident. You are entertaining a relative who has a little baby. The baby is asleep and you her on your bed. When she wakes up, you realize she has wet your bed. What do you do? To begin with, you should have anticipated this and protected your bed with a water proof sheet. Having slipped up, take the consequences with grace. You have asked your secretary to type a very important letter and mail it before a ‘certain time. You later realise she has slipped up. You call her to your cabin, and politely but firmly tell her to be more careful in future. Under most circumstances we loose our cool, display our weakness.