Sunday, August 18, 2013

A love letter-from one woman to another


Dear daughter-in-law,

     Welcome to the fold.  All this time I had to shoulder the responsibility of looking after my son.  I’m glad you have come to take over. For years now he had turned to me at every step.  As a child, he brought all his ‘battle’ wounds from the playground, to me to dress. More than the medicine, he regarded my concern, my kiss, as the healing touch.
He ran to me when his pride was hurt or his desires spurned.  I had to console him and also convince him that life is not smooth sailing all along- that one has to take the rough with the smooth.  Mind you, all these without letting him feel that I’m no friend of his.
He would be up to all kinds of tricks getting into trouble with his teachers, our neighbours, and his father.  I had to shield him without tact and diplomacy to bring him to the right path.  His studies, his extra circular activities, his social outings- what a job it was to get him to view each in its proper perspective.
Feeding him has been a challenge to my culinary prowess.  When he was a child, I had to marshal all my imagination to cook up tales to divert his mind.  I had to become mama bear, Jack on the beanstalk, the wolf, Snow White… As he grew up, I had to cook a variety of delicacies to cope with his appetite.
When he fell sick, I sat by his beside and prayed… every sneeze, every sniff of his would make me anxious.  Many sleepless nights I soothed his fevered brow and whispered endearments as he clutched my fingers. Yes… it has been both agony and ecstasy.  I have found fulfillment in seeing him grow… from child to boy to man.  Now I’m tired.  I want to sit back and pray, to thank God for his many mercies.  But my son still needs a woman, someone who can give him unsullied love; some one whom he can turn to for comfort and solace; someone whom he can trust; someone who will egg him on to achieve the best in life.  I’m glad he has found that someone in you. I know you will take care of your husband the way he will take care of you.  I have traversed the ‘miles’ I had to and kept ‘my promises’. Now it’s your turn.  You will have my blessings all the time and my counsel when you want.
If my son has a tendency to talk highly of me or often refer to my cooking, don’t feel threatened or offended. You can’t expect a man to shake off the shackles of a relationship, which was bound with an umbilical cord.  Don’t call him a ‘mama’s boy in disdain, if he wants to consult me at any time.  The love he has for you is unshakable.  The love he has for me is so too.  One has nothing to do with the other.  Keep it that way.
You and I have one thing in common- our love for him.  Like all the rivers that flow into the ocean, let us also pool our love.
     With all good wishes,
     Your mother-in-law.