Friday, January 24, 2014

MOMISMS...II...dedicated to moms..

The Oh So Weak Mother (OSWM) specializes in emotionally blackmailing her children. With a helpless sigh and a meek innocence, they have a strong sway over their children’s feelings. They expect kid-glove treatment and get away with imaginary swooning fits, aches and pains, making the children feel guilty about any form of disobedience. Such mothers unfortunately rob their children of their fighting spirit and chances are that they will end up emotionally weak adults.
God save children from interfering mothers (IM). They are the know-alls who feel they should advice their children on anything from shoe lace to investing in stocks and shares. They are at their Sunday best when the son or daughter marries as they are equally efficient in remote control interference. They play up the ‘mother knows best’ angle, making the interference seem more like a mission of mercy. They don’t know when to loosen the apron strings and never accept that the umbilical cord was cut long ago. Children find it hard to resist the mother for the fear of hurting her as her interference is in good faith. Many marriages are on the rocks, thanks to mothers like these.
STRICT Mothers (SM) often wield their rods too frequently. In the name of discipline, they clamp so many restrictions that the children find themselves in a cage of so called love and concern. The end result of such regimentation is that at the first opportunity, children fly away to freedom, sometimes going berserk.
There is no disputing the fact that a mother’s influence is from womb to the tomb. This makes motherhood a responsible position. It is important for a mother to be aware of her personality and its far reaching consequences. She should know when to be a friend, philosopher and guide to her children and to what degree each role should be performed.
The key point in a mother-child relationship is communication. The channel should be open for the child to express his/her hopes, fears, aspirations, frustrations. If a mother cannot cope with their problems, she should seek advice from her peers, elders or professionals, analyse the situation and then guide the child accordingly. A sensible mother tries to be a constructive critic.  I’ve heard so many mothers blaming the teacher for the child’s failure because they want to believe that their child is faultless. That is the crux of the whole problem. Most mothers are wantonly blind to their children’s faults for fear of it reflecting their own failure in being successful parents! This can be damaging to the growth of the child.
Of all the people a child is surrounded with, a mother’s words are most palatable. This being so, what a mother says or does has deep implications. He/she subconsciously carries these throughout life. It is all very well to revel in the status of motherhood, but it is a different matter to be a mother that the scriptures eulogise. For this, the rules emphasise discretion, fair-play, strong sense of justice, an open mind and above all, the ability to love the child without stifling his/her personality.