I
felt things would work out if I could infuse a bit of humour into our life. So,
I did silly things like leave a poem in his lunch box about his being my “Lord
and Master” ,hide behind the kitchen door while he read my note on the dining
table saying ‘I’m out’ and pranks like that. Slowly, he thawed. He could not
keep a stiff upper lip in the face of such frivolity. I also took the trouble
to keep the house clean and tidy and learnt cooking through a correspondence
course from my mother-in-law. Since Srivatsa was serving on Vikrant the aircraft carrier, he used to
sail often. During that time, I went to tailoring and embroidery classes
conducted by a Naval wife. Every time he came back from sailing, our drawing
room would have cushion covers and table cloths embroidered by me. I would
surprise him with dishes I learnt from my friends. In short, he could never
predict my next move! We still had rough patches but they were getting
smoother. He, on his part, let down his ‘airs’ and started enjoying the quirks
of life.
***
I was
very fond of dancing. Srivatsa was not. Every time we went to a Ball (the Armed
Forces loves these) he would be sitting like a wall flower and I would dance with
his friends. He had no problems with my dancing with others as long as he did
not have to go on the floor. This went on for a couple years. Once, we went as
usual, with our circle of friends, to the Navy Ball. Usha Iyer (now Uthup) was
singing. Everybody was dancing to her lively numbers and suddenly, Srivatsa
dragged me to the floor and started dancing! Thank you Usha. Since then, we are
ardent dancers and we would be the first and last on the dance floor!!. To
think that was Srivatsa’s way of saying he too could dig his heels in and make
his contribution. You have to just switch your attitude!
Srivatsa
had his own way of making a point and I was sharp enough to get it. Once, he
admired a fellow officer’s wife for being soft spoken. I knew I was loud. In
the next party we went to, I sat beside the lady he referred to and observed
her. Within a week’s time I, had mastered the art of being soft spoken (I can
still be loud!). I was never jealous of any woman he admired. I was curious and
took tips. It was a self development exercise which benefited me as a person. I
did not do what I did to win his approval. It was more as a challenge to see if
I could do what other women could.
Our
vibes got better as we understood each other. His parents meant a lot to Srivatsa
and I appreciated that. Though we are poles apart in our attitude to life, I
was willing to go the extra mile with my mother-in-law. Conditioned by her own
environment, she is an introvert and difficult to reach out to. But I did not
stop trying! Our relationship has been like a ferries wheel but it moves and that’s
all the matters. I don’t believe in alienating my husband from his family. If a
man can dump his mother or sisters, he can dump his wife whom he has known for
a shorter time!
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