We associate manners with opening doors and
chewing with one's mouth closed. But there’s
more to it. The crux of it all is consideration. Let us take a few examples of this.
Are you living in a multistoried building?
Then read on… Don't let your children skate or play hockey
at home. They are also fond of thumping
on the floor or dropping marbles. All
this can be extremely irrigating to the hapless occupants of the flat below. Avoid walking up and down the house in
high-heeled shoes. Grinding your masals
or rearranging your furniture should be done in the morning-never in the
afternoon or night.
Don't throw garbage from the window. If you have to dry your clothes on the window
sill, don't decorate it with underclothes!
Keep common passageways clean. Don't
sweep out all the muck in your house, into the corridor.
Are you invited to speak at functions?
Learn to be brief... Consideration for the listeners is the first
priority. Respect your listeners'
intelligence and they will appreciate your effort. Don't
adopt a supercilious attitude because you have agreed to speak-
remember, they have bestowed on you the honour of their willingness to listen.
Ensure you know enough of your topic.
Bragging
about your child!
“My munna is very smart; he can recite one
to tem without missing out a number"
It is bad taste to go on talking about
one's child to others. After all, your
child may be very special to you but certainly not so to all and sundry!
Equally unpalatable is the case of a wife
going on and on about her husband or vice versa. "My wife bakes the best
cake in town" may sound like music to the wife concerned, but not to
others. In company, it is not too
polished to keep on raving about one's spouse… the other extreme lies in
constantly picking on the spouse. It makes the listener very uncomfortable. If
you have to fight with your hubby or wife, do so in the privacy of your room,
not even before the children.
Money
shouts…wealth whispers
What about those who show off their wealth? "Oh my! What a cosy little flat! It must
be such fun to live in such a small house. Ours is so big we don't know what to
do with all that space"...tch..tch.
Another 'cheap'way of flouting one's wealth
is putting out one's best silver or expensive crockery when entertaining
someone who can never dream of possessing them. For fear of breaking the
fragile china or dropping the cut glass bowl, they will neither eat nor drink.
A gracious person does not brag about his
position or pay. As shakespeare said, it is 'Small things that make base men
proud".
In the mad race for the room at the top, we
have left behind some of the graces that add that special something called a
'touch of class' to our actions.
Gracious invitations
Take
a simple thing like sending out invitations.
The most important thing to remember is the person's name and
designation. Quite often the name is
misspelt, which only goes to show how sincere you are in desiring the person's
presence. It is also necessary to find out if he has a salutation or rank
attached to his name. The invitations from VIP's like the governor or minister,
are on a printed card and in the third person. They usually carry RSVP and the
receiver should send in his acceptance or regret, as early as he can .Private
dinners or parties can have written invitations in the first person. Needless to say the writing should be
legible. For an informal party the telephone is convenient.
When you accept an invitation, do not back
out of it without informing the hostess, sufficiently in advance. If you don't turn
up when she is expecting you, it can mar her whole party. If the time is
mentioned, arrive five minutes after. If you have to be late, ring up and say
so. It is most annoying for everyone to have to wait for you while you
nonchalantly take your own time
If you are throwing a party on your
birthday or anniversary, there is no need to mention the same in your
invitation, it is tantamount to asking
for a gift. If you are using a letterhead for writing your invitation, let
it be a simple one with only your name, Address and telephone number. Cut out
all the imposing degrees and designations.
Don't scribble the invitation on any odd paper either. Put the
invitation in an envelope and address it. Don't invite anyone through a third
party, by asking him to pass on the message. Don't accept this kind of
invitation either. It is better to be specific and say, "Can you join us
for dinner on...night? Another casual but non committal kind of inviting is,
"Come and have a bite with us one of these days"
Invite only if you must, as to an official
party; or if you want to throw an informal party, invite only those you like.
Life
is beautiful if we all follow certain
code of conduct in every aspect or our life..
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