Vineet Kapoor is too proud to travel in his wife’s office car. He has his own and when it does not come for any reason he’d rather take a cab than take a lift from his wife. “I don’t attend her office parties either”, he declares proudly. “Why should I? I’m introduced as her husband” Whatever others have to say, I feel both Vineet and his wife are making a mistake in drawing such rigid lines.
What’s wrong with either taking a lift in the other’s office car? After all, a vehicle is just a mode of convenience to be used from point A to B. Whom it belongs to should not make the difference.
The same way, if Vineet meets his wife’s colleagues at her office parties, he’ll get to know the kind of people she works with. The same goes for her. The change will also enlighten both as they learn about matters outside the purview of their own professional environment.
As for identity, why do men or women make such a hue and cry about this? Being addressed as someone’s daughter or wife or husband, does not deprive you of your ‘identity’. If you think so, then you are not sure of yourself. Naturally, her friends will identify you as her husband and your friends will address her as your wife. To some, you are both parents of your children. Vineet says.,” I have identity of my own. So, we have a perfect understanding. She keeps her professional life and I mine, out of our personal life”. We seem to be getting more and more paranoid about this segregation of sexes. On the one hand we have little obituary columns announcing mourning ceremonies at different times for men and women and on the other, you have unisex garments meant for both. Once, we claim special privileges as women and in the same breath, cry blue murder against sexist discrimination.
How come we haven’t hit upon the golden mean, which is a mutually beneficial arrangement? Vineet and his wife can use their respective office cars on alternate days. This will save on fuel. Besides, it will give them an opportunity to be with each other for a longer time and discuss matters which they otherwise may not find to dwell on.
The same way, they can attend each other’s parties and double their fun. It would be so ridiculous for Vineet to introduce his wife Rita to his friends with ‘I am her husband’, or for Rita to present him as ‘I am his wife.’ Sheer commonsense.
Why not call a truce and treat each other as fellow human beings? There are so many more worthwhile issues to be sorted out than sulk over using each other’s privileges. Here’s to a happy ride!