Sunday, August 3, 2014

No Nonsense Chayaisms from the 80s….If I ruled India



                                                               If I ruled India  
THE ‘one minute managers’ concept is doing its rounds in the corporate world. 
Extending its reach, I would like to be one month ruler of India and reorganise the country so
thorough­ly that no one would want to leave its shores to seek green pastures.
My strategy is rather lopsided; me­thods, high handed and premises illogical, but results
guaranteed.  I shall tackle every thorn that is pricking the sides of the common man and for
once,come out with a solution—good, bad or ugly.

* The first priority is to sort out the States. The Sikhs will get their Khalistan, the Telugus their
Desam, the Kannadigas their Rajya, the Tamils their Nadu etc.  But there will be a strict stipulation- each man to his own state. Not even tourist visas will be issued.
The States will have to be entirely self sufficient in food grains, in­dustry—everything.
If you want to get Delhi basmati to Bombay, you will have to apply for an import license and all let­ters from one State to another will be censored. Having settled every­one in their respective States. I will turn my attention towards the law and order situation.
* The police force will he disbanded. Each locality will have a security unit manned by a retired Service Officer.
* All youths above the age of 16, will be recruited as civil defence ‘jawans’ and be given rigorous phy­sical training for two years. During this period, it is their business to keep their locality clean and safe.
As for the unemployed policemen, they will be given crash courses in moral science and then allotted kiosks to sell stationery.
* I will make it compulsory for every aspiring politician to do a post­graduate course of three years duration, and learn the art of administration. Public speaking will be part of the curriculum, in which they will be taught to say sensible and relevant things in five minutes, with few lectures on punctuality and simple living.
* On the education front—all pregnant women have to register their to-be- born babies’ could-be-name, in the school within the radius of a mile from where they live. No school buses will be allowed and all students will-have to start from nursery and finish the XII std., from the same school, after which all the marks will be computed and seats automatically allotted in various colleges, depending upon their performance.
* There will be no paper work in the university, as all rules of eligibility, domicile, migration and other cer­tificates will be done away with. Absenteeism in offices will be mini­mised with parents not having to go to various ministers to seek re­commendation.
* Housing situation will improve—all houses will have a rental ceiling fixed, depending on the present value of land and building costs— notwithstanding where they are locat­ed. Those owning houses will not be allowed to live in rented ones and as everyone will be living in their respective states permanently, they will have to own a house—the gov­ernment giving them all the build­ing materials at a subsidized cost.
* I will hold important international meets in different states by turns so that the roads are improved, trees are planted and the whole place is given a facelift.
It may not be a ‘Ram Rajya’ in its pristine  sense, but it certainly will be a country where people can hope for a ‘mind without fear’ and hold their heads high!

Anyone interested in making me  leader?