No Non-sense Chayaisms from the 80s…Those
filmy gods
Those filmy gods
Indian mythology unfolds vistas of ‘yugas’, with their
respective stalwarts, like Rama and Krishna. Rama embodied the qualities of
dutiful son and king, while Krishna with his exploits with the fair sex and
some pearls of wisdom addressed to the public at large, gained popularity.But
they fall short of perfection when compared to the inhabitants of the silver
screen today. In this age of religious skepticism, we find it difficult to
accept the credibility of Rama and Krishna. But the demigods and goodness of
celluloid, rekindle the famous sentiments of faith, hope, and sometimes
charity. Like true devotees, we flock to the ticket booths and buy ourselves a
few hours of communion with the Almighty.
Take the hero-he is so handsome, wealthy, intelligent
and, Oh! so good. He is dutiful and highly principled, idealistic and has a
strong sense of purpose. Nobody can lure him from his goal, the nature of which
is considered to be beside the point and left to the imagination of the mortals.
Even the gods wetted their palates with ‘somaros’, but not the hero ‘I don’t
drink ‘, he says with an air of a saint and we women give our men folk accusing
glares.
The gods of yore had to marshal the help of monkeys and
other animals to rout their enemies. But our ‘god’ can take on a whole brigade
single-handed, for he is an expert in karate and judo. Even though he appears
to be a lounge lizard by and large, when the time comes, he can shoot like ten
Ramas, ride a horse, swim across an ocean, fly a helicopter, and also sing a
song –Oh! How we women worship these ‘devas’!
But the heroines are no less. They put us to shame with
their sterling qualities. They have the beauty of Rati the steadfastness of
Sita, the patience of Draupadi and the valour of Chamundeswari! No standing on
tables at the sight of a rat for them! They can pick up the nearest sword and fence
with the demon and dance on glass pieces to save their lovers from the jaws of
death, while all that Savitri had to do was to catch Yama off guard in verbal
combat!
When molested by the wicket brothers, Draupadi had to
appeal to Krishna, but these paragons of virtue, have foresight and wear
skin-tight jeans and carry knives in their boots and defend themselves with
aplomb.
The omnipresence of God pales before that of our earthly
ones. Rama had to send an emissary, like Hanuman, to find out what Sita was up
to. But our hero is more self-sufficient. When parted, he sings a lachrymose
song and the refrain is picked up by his beloved some hundreds of miles away
and they bring the song to a glorious finale after the third verse, holding
hands! They chase each other playfully round a pine tree in botanical gardens
and end the frolic under a banyan tree in Gulmarg. I am sure Rama and Sita
couldn’t have thought up that one even in ‘Panchavati ‘!
Which brings us to the ‘rakshas’ of today-the villain! Mareech
and Dhundubi could easily be spotted with their buck teeth and hairy chests not
to mention foot-long nails and a heavy mace. But look at the degenerate one on
the screen. He is just a degree short of the hero in looks, has a band of leather
jerkined followers and a hideout equipped like the NASA. He doesn’t charge
towards his victim with a feral cry as Bakasura did. Instead, chewing gum,
hangs him upside down above live coals and asks psychological questions. The
villain has all the bad qualities one can think of and comes to a sad end at
the end of the battle. He actually dies!
The working class in the earthly paradise are
not without special endowments. The ‘sakhis’ hovering round the heroine have a
trim waist shown off to advantage in revealing clothes , the modest modern hair
style and a swaying gait. They don’t do
anything much generally and seem to be around only to giggle occasionally and
look ornamental.
We must not forget the children of the gods.As
youngsters, the Pandavas
brother don’t impress us one bit. They learnt archery,
prostrated before their ‘guru’ and waited till they grew older to hit the
headlines. But the offspring of the screen couple are much smarter. They can
hold up a police inspector with a toy gun, be chased across heaths and meadows
by ferocious dacoits and still not lose their nerve. They can make
world-shattering resolutions at the pyre of their loved ones and grow up a day
later to carry them out. They are quick on the uptake and cannot be easily
coerced into cutting off thumbs, like Ekalvaya did, for the teacher’s whim. On
the other hand, they can see a series of ‘gurus’ out of employment. They are,
in short, lovable little devils!
Of course, we have those luscious ‘devis’ who provide a
terpsichorean delight to the lesser mortals. They wriggle in “out of this
world” costumes and never seem to burst a button. They appear to tempt the
‘devas’ and only end up getting a ‘slip disc’ for the invincible god of the
screen is not to be taken in by these ‘Mohinis’.
Life is made up of tears and laughter, happiness and
sorrows, the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Three hours, spent
in the sanctum sanctorum of the local cinema, will assure one of this philosophy.
But what pleases the pilgrim as he comes
out of this is that God is , after all , not in some woolly cloud above, beyond
reach, but is around us just a couple of
rupees away, and, what is more, will also send the devotee an autographed
photograph, if appealed to, through the ‘pujari’ the secretary.
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